HOW I TOLD HIM

Continued from 'how I found out'

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly. I was actually enjoying myself at the conference. Got a chance to see my old boss, met some new colleagues, and hung out with my college roommate one night too! My husband called me a conference geek because I actually ran out of note taking paper on like day 3. My son seemed to be doing well without me but we still missed each other and for the love of God I was pregnant!!!!!

It was always on my mind.
Between the hunger and constant fatigue- it was all I could think about. I wanted to tell my husband so bad and wanted to get to a doctor even badder (is that a word? if not, I made it up and it's now a word.)! I actually ended up calling them on one of my breaks to see what I should do. I told them I was out of town so the nurse just told me to relax (yeah right) and come in on Friday. Great! My plane lands at 5 so I'll be there 'bout 5:30 mmmkay?! She quickly shot that idea down cause they would be closed (the nerve!) and to come in Monday morning. 

I now had a few more dilemmas to tackle. I now had to get hubby to not schedule anything on his calendar for Monday without telling him why (or getting him freaked out or suspicious) and then tell my boss I'd be in late despite not being in for the past 11 days (which includes weekends). Great. I couldn't have been more happy to see Friday at 12. Conference was over and I could head home! I never did make it back to the gym the rest of the week. I didn't beat myself up too much though. At that point I didn't want to start a new exercise regime anyway. That's a first tri non-no. I grabbed some lunch and called my mom to kill time.  Do you know how hard that was?! But talking to her gave me a sense of calm. She has that effect on people.

Earlier that week I stopped into the college football hall of fame and picked up some souvenirs for my loves. I was looking forward to sharing that with them. My shuttle came to pick me up on time and I was headed to the airport. Just a few more hours til I'm reunited. I texted hubby at take off then went right back to sleep. This time I did wake up for beverage service though. We landed a little ahead of schedule which caused me to end up waiting an hour at the airport for hubby to pick me up. He worked late so that pushed him back a little. I ran into one of the dad's of the children who goes to school with my son. He helped me kill some time and it was nice to talk to a fellow parent besides "hi & bye!" 

Once hubby picked me up, I must've squeezed them both til they turned blue. I was so happy to see them and just one more step closer to spilling the beans. Then we had the dinner talk. Which turned into a nice meal at a sit down rib joint. It was soooooo good. I would've rather had been home so I could tell, them but that food was hitting the spot! It was so good, I was thinking about the next time I could have it. Dang, was this gonna be my first craving?! 

I thought to myself: Don't get your hopes up- this one might go away too. 

Once we got home I was exhausted but excited. I had a plan on how to tell hubby about our growing family.  I started by giving our son his souvenirs. He was thankful and loved them but a little more interested in Team Umi Zoomi at the time. I bought him a(nother) football, a football story book (and hopefully I can share more about this book later), and a Myname St. Plate. You know those things-

Susan St. 

Erick St. 

Bob St. 

You can get them almost anywhere there's a souvenir shop. His has the college football hall of fame logo on it. Then hubby was up next. He too loved the Michigan State University wing sauce and the new gym bag. He still uses that bag every day. My husband has the luxury of going to the gym during the day (well there are a few days that time won't permit it, but who has the ability to go to the gym mid-day anyway?!) and I love that he loves his new bag. Last up- was the new little life growing inside of me.

*insert pic* 

There were tears (mainly from me) there were hugs, there was a lot of explaining to do. My husband still jokes that I 'got pregnant' while on business. I slap his arm every time he says it but it's still kinda funny: The fact that I came back from the trip with a positive pregnancy test. He now knew why I made him take the morning off (and was happy to do so) and swears he didn't have a clue why I asked him to do it. I was so happy to be home and so happy to be able to share that news with him in person.  Now, I just needed to make it through the weekend. 

I never in a million years would ever dream of rushing a weekend by. But at least I got to delay my Monday morning blues. I texted my boss either Sunday night or Monday morning to tell her I would be late cause I wasn't feeling well. I apologized profusely for being out after being away but she said she understood and that she hoped I felt better and if I needed to I should take the day off. Thank God!

Monday morning came and we dropped our son off at school like we always do. But this time instead of heading to work, we went to the doctor. I was a bag of nerves and probably cried on the way there. I was so darn scared. Really scared. To the point where I almost panicked. When we pulled into the parking lot, I damn near froze. Not really wanting to go in.  But I did. The wait in the waiting room seemed like forever! But I fell asleep while waiting so that helped to pass the time.  

We weren't at a regular OB/GYN. We were at a specialist. I had been there a year ago for my recurrent pregnancy loss but never did follow up or anything since my diagnosis was "recurrent pregnancy loss". I almost wanted to have a medical condition so that I can be treated and move on. You see when there is no condition, there is no treatment, and therefore you're kind of stuck without answers. 

Finally we were called back and my vitals were taken and blood drawn. Then it's sonogram time. Jeez I wish she'd hurry up. But we had to get a speech first. Based on my last menstrual period I was 5 weeks, 5 days. She warned us that all we'd be looking for is a gestational sac. Since this was (what they called) a spontaneous pregnancy- meaning because they didn't put that embryo in there, they don't know when I ovulated or when implantation occurred so they cannot be sure of exactly how far along I was - we can't draw any conclusions that day. Whatever lady. Get that probe in there.

Good God there was the teensiest, tiniest gestational sac!!! Then she deflated me and said they won't be able to tell if it's viable for another few weeks. But this is a good sign. I cried. There's hope!!! I was put on the RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) protocol of meds and told to come back in a week. As we left she said "Congrats!!" 

That was the best feeling in the world.