Tuesday, October 29, 2013


That's what the doctor called my ovum.

Seriously though?

Of all the things I needed a blighted ovum was not it.

I can't even believe that I am addressing this issue again. Miscarriage.

I'm not even sure I have the words to write or the thoughts to express. It's all just a numbing feeling that won't go away, always in the back of my mind. Another due date come and gone. Another round of the "I'm so sorry"ies. I wish it would all just go away.

There are still days that I think about what my life...
no, our life would be like with Irish twins. I remember being in such a panic that everything had gone wrong and now.... now?! I can't even put into words what I would do to have my babies back.

Somehow in the back of my mind- I think I knew this one wasn't going to end well. In the weeks leading up to my first doctor's appointment I kept saying "I just want there to be a heartbeat" to anyone who knew. everyone kept reassuring me that it would all be ok.

But then....

.... it wasn't. Because today should have been my due date.


  1. Oh my! I am speechless. So sorry for your loss. I pray God heals you completely and that you have awesome news to share soon!

    Sending virtual hugs your way!

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. So sorry for your loss. HUGS, lots of them

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you this week.

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment on my blog!

  5. :( I'm so sorry. I wish I could do or say more. Thinking and praying for you.


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