Today's Thoughts

It was never my intention to take a blogging break. But life has been moving full speed ahead.

- I started a new job last week. I'm a part time temp employee. I think this is the perfect transition back into the working world. This is a big adjustment for me and the little guy and I'm so very grateful for the opportunity to be able to do it this way.

- We hired a nanny. It was our only option at the time. He was on the waiting list at all the certified day-cares in the area and this job just fell into my lap. Given the choice I would have made the interview process a little longer but it has been working out really well so far. The hardest part is watching the tears run down my little boy's face as I walk out the door.

- We recently got a call (5 days after I started working) from one of the day cares in which he was on the waiting list. Oy!!! Out of respect for our recently hired nanny, I'm not letting her go just yet. We were upfront with her about our intentions to put him in day care around the age of 2 but I'm not sold just yet. Why must everything be SO hard?!?!

- I never thought I would say this but I think I may regret leaving the medical profession. I'm thinking it may have allowed for a little more flexibility in child care. A blogger that I follow works the overnight shift at the hospital so that she can be home with her children during the day... GENIUS!! Makes me regret leaving the field.

- I feel truly blessed right now. My family is doing really well and we are having a good time at this point in our lives. I thank God everyday (several times a day) for this blessing. Sometimes I think things are too good to be true and I often sit around nervously waiting for "that phone call" or "it to happen". I know that it the completely wrong way to think but I can't help it. I was so anxious over the Christmas holiday that I barely slept.

- Speaking of sleep. I haven't been sleeping well at all, if at all! I know that is in large part due to the fact that I am returning to work AND using a nanny. While grocery shopping one day I came across an organic bedtime sleep tea. It claims to have a calming effect and helps you go to sleep. The day I bought it I went to sleep right away no problem (without it!). And what do you know... I haven't used it since I bought it. But now that it's been a week I am back to 'not falling asleep' so I think I will be trying it soon.

- Did anyone see Oprah's interview with Beyonce?? While I enjoyed it, I felt like there was some holding back. Maybe Bey was nervous because her documentary was premiering in a matter of minutes. When you open yourself up like that it can be nerve wracking ... trust me. Letting you all into my life, home, and family is hard. I realize that no one is forcing me to do it and there are aspects that I certainly like (and dislike) but at times it's tough. I always battle with how much to share or reveal without holding back, seeming too perfect, or coming off fake. I have no problem sharing the good with the bad but there is a fine line in terms of over-sharing. I haven't watched the actual documentary yet but I plan on it!

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- My 2 year blogging anniversary is on Saturday!!! I am so happy to have committed to this for two years. After the birth of my son I definitely struggled (and still continue to) at times to post regularly but that's to be expected right? Just like last year, I thought there would be more fanfare surrounding this milestone but there won't be any giveaways, face lifts, or anything of the sort. I'll be lucky if I get around to posting.

- This weekend the (little) babe and I are hanging out in the area. We are going to be venturing out and about just the two of us and I'm nervous. Despite being her for 5 months I still feel like I'm playing 'an away game' and add that to the fact that a toddle can freak out and melt down at almost any moment and my nerves have a right to be on edge. However, I'm still looking forward to it.

- Lately hubby has been having things to do in the evenings which kind of cuts into my blogging time. I really only blog once he's asleep but if hubby isn't home it leaves me with a few extra nighttime chores like cleaning the kitchen and straightening up the playroom. I think things will die down soon so hopefully I get to spend some time with you :)

- And lastly, Congrats to Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose on the arrival of their baby boy Sebastian!!!!